Republicans Confirm Move to Parallel Universe

WASHINGTON (D:O) -- While their party leaders proudly unveiled the presentation folders for their details-to-follow "Road to Recovery" budget alternative, anonymous sources within the Republican Party quietly conceded today that the GOP soon will move "lock, stock and barrel of tax cuts" to a separate universe "where no one can ever again attack our plan as the 'Road to Ruin.'"

One source explained: "We're moving everybody and everything--within certain limits--to a much better world. It's a parallel universe where no one will ever have to pay taxes, and there are no pesky poor people, homeless veterans and unemployed middle-class families to gum up our strategies. It's a world open to those solid citizens who make $100,ooo and up, on a steady basis."

The name of the parallel universe, the source added, is still being debated within party circles.

"Some want to call it 'Rushmore,' and some want to call it 'Jindalville.'" A conference committee is attempting to come up with a compromise, another GOP source emphasized.

Not everyone likes the move, the second anonymous source conceded. "A number of Republicans who make less than $100,000 say they feel betrayed and may become Democrats. Or Libertarians. Or Communists. Their point is that they can't stay in the Republican Party if it insists on leaving them behind in this reality."

-- B.W. "Blanque" Page, Washington correspondent for Dateline:Oblivion.

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