Hurricane McCain

By Si Dunn

I dislike and deeply distrust neoconservative Republican politics. But I give good marks to John McCain for his level-headed decision on Sunday to abbreviate the Republican National Convention and send some delegates home as Hurricane Gustav approaches the Gulf Coast.

I hope the GOP will be able to resurrect at least some of their convention plans after the storm and have their fair shot at good media coverage during the runup to the Nov. 4 general election. I also hope they can mitigate the unintended financial damage to vendors and hotels in St. Paul and Minneapolis now that nature has chosen to trump the Republicans' political spectacle.

I still believe Barack Obama and Joe Biden represent the best hopes for change to the nation's broken economy, trashed political system and deeply damaged international standing.

But score one for McCain and the Republicans for putting nation ahead of party as Gustav roars toward a fragile coastline still trying to recover from hurricanes Katrina and Rita.

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McCain-Palin: A Big Snowball's Chance in Hell?

By Si Dunn

Is it bold...or just bizarre?

John McCain's pick for vice president appears to be both at the same time.

Ultimately, however, it will turn out to be just a slightly bigger snowball, once it starts melting in the hell of American presidential politics.

These amazingly troubled times cry out for a stronger and more qualifed #2 to stand a heartbeat away from the presidency.

Calling up the "aggressively pro-life" commander in chief of the Alaska National Guard--brave and noble though that unit may be--is not a sound act of presidential decision-making on Maverick McCain's part.

Gov. Sarah Palin surely is a rising Republican star (particularly with her political nickname, "Barracuda"). But a bolder and more grounded pick would have been Glenn Close, who, after all, has more national, international and universal experience, serving both as Harrison Ford's vice president in Air Force One and Jack Nicholson's First Lady in Mars Attacks!, AND as a Supreme Court justice in The West Wing. Hey, and she also has narrated a documentary on George and Martha Washington. That, my friends, is experience.

Faced with new threats to European security by Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin and his presidential da-man, Dmitry Medvedev, what would a President Palin do, based on her national and international track record thus far? Aggressively condemn their stances on abortion? Throw snowballs across the Bering Strait and send dog-sled troops into Siberia to try to force regime change?

Bottom-line predictions from this pundit: (1) Joe Biden's gonna make moose-burgers out of her in the vice presidential debate. And (2), the Bush/McCain-Palin ticket will have only a big snowball's chance in hell once it starts melting down over the next few days and weeks.

Gov. Sarah Palin indeed may be a political barracuda. But the media's thousands of tiger sharks now are circling, and they just see a fresh new fish sandwich in the sea.

In the new age of instant journalism, instant Swift Boating, instant attack ads, and instant disinformation campaigns, it's still a long, long time until November.

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Change? What Change? My Seven Houses Can Beat Your House?

By Si Dunn


I will vote Democratic in November, but so far, I'm depressed--not impressed--by the campaigns of "change" mounted by both candidates.


Now the Swift boats are out, firing torpedos at houses. McCain can't remember how many houses he has. Obama has only one house (that cost a million or so). Nyah-nyah-nyah!


It's a battle worthy of an historic new slogan: Damn the torpedoes! Full speed to the bottom!


Things won't change much, of course, after the two candidates announce their vice-presidential picks.


The Swift boats from both sides immediately will fire torpedoes at their houses, too. And any other ridiculous target they can conjure up or invent.


Nothing, so far, has changed in this "historic" campaign of "change."


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Hang Up and Shut Up

By Si Dunn

Recently, I went to a public library hoping for a couple of hours of quiet escape.

I stacked a few books on a clean, well-lighted table and settled down to pick the ones I wanted to check out.

Ring!

A cell phone gave off shrill sounds at the next table until a woman finally dug it out of her purse.

Hello? Oh, I'm just sitting here in the library waiting for Joe to get out of traffic court. What's new with you? Really? A new water pump? That's great!

And so on.

I moved my books to another table in what seemed to be a quieter corner.

Ring!

This time, a man pulled a fancy phone from his khaki shorts.

Hello? No, I don't know where Bobby left his sandals. What's for dinner, and what do I need to get at the store? Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Unh, uh.

I tried other locations in the library:

- The "quiet" reading room. Ring! Hello? No, honey, she has too much Hello Kitty stuff already.

- The restroom stalls. Ring! Hello? Yep. Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Uh, huh....

- The lobby area right next to the check-out desk, where surely a librarian would enforce the "quiet" rule. Not so. Ring! Hello? No, I'm still at the library, but I need to go to the beauty shop in about an hour. Do you still think I should get my hair cut shorter or leave it about the same? Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Uh, huh...

After the library fiasco, I tried to find some quiet escape in the aisles of a nearby bookstore. Maybe, just maybe, I figured, I can quietly buy a few books and take them home to read.

In every aisle, somebody--sometimes, two somebodies or three somebodies--stood there blathering on a cell phone.

I checked out no books that day and spent no money at the bookstore. I couldn't hear myself think long enough to make any selections.

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