Hang Up and Shut Up

By Si Dunn

Recently, I went to a public library hoping for a couple of hours of quiet escape.

I stacked a few books on a clean, well-lighted table and settled down to pick the ones I wanted to check out.

Ring!

A cell phone gave off shrill sounds at the next table until a woman finally dug it out of her purse.

Hello? Oh, I'm just sitting here in the library waiting for Joe to get out of traffic court. What's new with you? Really? A new water pump? That's great!

And so on.

I moved my books to another table in what seemed to be a quieter corner.

Ring!

This time, a man pulled a fancy phone from his khaki shorts.

Hello? No, I don't know where Bobby left his sandals. What's for dinner, and what do I need to get at the store? Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Unh, uh.

I tried other locations in the library:

- The "quiet" reading room. Ring! Hello? No, honey, she has too much Hello Kitty stuff already.

- The restroom stalls. Ring! Hello? Yep. Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Uh, huh....

- The lobby area right next to the check-out desk, where surely a librarian would enforce the "quiet" rule. Not so. Ring! Hello? No, I'm still at the library, but I need to go to the beauty shop in about an hour. Do you still think I should get my hair cut shorter or leave it about the same? Uh, huh. Uh, huh. Uh, huh...

After the library fiasco, I tried to find some quiet escape in the aisles of a nearby bookstore. Maybe, just maybe, I figured, I can quietly buy a few books and take them home to read.

In every aisle, somebody--sometimes, two somebodies or three somebodies--stood there blathering on a cell phone.

I checked out no books that day and spent no money at the bookstore. I couldn't hear myself think long enough to make any selections.

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