By Si Dunn
Thank runaway deregulation and greed for this: a free-market freefall that will cost the federal government (meaning us) upward of a trillion dollars. Suddenly, the only way to stop major banks and other financial institutions from collapsing under the weight of their own bad debts and stupid decisions is to throw mountain ranges of cash at them.
That cash, of course, will not be coming from a Strategic Money Reserve hidden deep under a Colorado mountain. It will come straight from our pockets, straight from programs we support or desire, and straight, no doubt, from China's Central Bank. (Someday we may discover that China now owns us, and we are just another province.)
With the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan also draining billions of dollars per month, the next Administration, Obama or McCain, won't be able to afford to offer us much of anything except platitudes and fervent appeals for us pull ourselves up by our frayed and knotted bootstraps.
Here, without any fanfare for the comman man, is the kind of bailout plan we can expect to receive on Main Street: (1) raise cash by selling your household goods on eBay; (2) raise more cash by selling off your personal library on Amazon; and (3) sell whatever is left over at a garage sale. And if anything remains after steps 1, 2, and 3, donate those items to Goodwill, so you can get a generous tax deduction of, say, fifty bucks or so. Then use the fifty bucks to buy a tank of gas so you can drive away from your foreclosed house.
Oh, and by the way, pay no attention to the golden parachutes now blossoming open all over the sky. It's just those silly clowns from the financial sector, still trying to get us to look up to them.
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