White House Declares: 'If We're Toast, Let's Have Breakfast!'

By Si Dunn

A top NASA scientist has declared “We’re toast…!” if we don’t act quickly and urgently to counter global warming.

According to a source deep within the White House, the Bush Administration has been spurred into high gear by this new NASA warning and is pushing forward its latest environmental action plan: generous tax breaks for all American manufacturers of bread, butter, margarine, jellies, preserves and jams.

“Hey, if we’re toast," the White House source said, "we may as well go out in grand style with a good breakfast. How about a short stack of carbon-credit pancakes and some greenhouse eggs and ham on the side?”

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