Fighting guns and ghosts with bare hands: An action-horror feature screenplay

RAVINE
Trapped in an isolated ravine, a combat veteran who fears violence must save himself and his family from a crazed gunman, also a combat veteran, who is being driven mad by the ghosts of three men he killed in Iraq.

SYNOPSIS

JAKE WARREN, his wife KAREN and their young daughter KATIE have no idea why their SUV suddenly is being pursued by an unseen driver steering a hulking black van. And they have no time to figure it out. After a short chase that seems like road rage out of control, the black van slams their SUV through a guard rail and into a deep ravine.

The Warrens are all injured, Katie very seriously. And now they are trapped in an isolated area with no way to call for help. The only person who knows where they are is the man who has just tried to kill them: CHARLIE MACKLIN, a disgraced former Marine lieutenant who now lives in a squalid mountain camp nearby and is haunted by the ghosts of three Marines he killed in Iraq by giving bad orders. Charlie has decided to kill three other people, so perhaps their ghosts will replace the ones that have been tormenting him. When Charlie discovers the car crash did not kill the Warrens, he goes back to the ravine with guns.

Jake Warren, meanwhile, is also a combat veteran, a former soldier who did well in Iraq but was injured and now fears violence. Armed only with rocks and his bare hands, Jake must find enough courage to climb out of the ravine through gunfire and fight a man increasingly made murderous and insane by ghosts, while Karen fights to keep her and Jake’s daughter alive.

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RAVINE

Feature Screenplay

by Si Dunn

Copyrighted, WGA registered

For more information about this screenplay and its availability, contact Sagecreek Productions LLC, 3800 N. Lamar Blvd., Suite 730-131, Austin, TX 78756-4011, sidunn@hotmail.com.

The Story Behind the Criminal Conversations Screenplay

By Si Dunn

The screenplay for Criminal Conversations explores several areas that intrigue me. (Here's the logline: A man meets up again with his ex-wife while his current spouse is dying and his ex-wife's current husband is suing her for divorce and trying to prove she is guilty of adultery.)

First, I am interested in what can happen when two people who have had a previous, unhappy history together suddenly need each other again, yet they are constrained by forces both inside and outside their new circumstances.

The youthful marriage of Ted and Alexandra ended badly several decades ago, and the two of them moved on to separate, successful lives and new marriages.

Now, they are in their fifties, and happenstance has brought them back together just at the time when their current lives are crumbling.

They could try to be friends or lovers again. They both need someone who understands them and they are increasingly are aware of their own mortality and how time is beginning to run out in their lives. But both of them are still married. There are strict limitations on teacher-student relationships. They have the feelings of their own families to consider, and they are being spied on Alexandra’s estranged husband, Frank.

One wrong move could cause them both to be sued for “criminal conversation,” an old legal term for adultery.

How can they be close again and helpful to each other while maintaining what the law and society would consider a “respectable” distance?

Secondly, I am interested in exploring how two people who once loved each other can find enough forgiveness to overcome the transgressions that tore apart their marriage. They cannot go back and change the past -- anyway, they would not want to give up their children and the careers they have formed since they went their separate ways.

Yet, their new circumstances have thrown them together in a way that causes them both to face a choice: Can the one who was wronged forgive the one who bears the most blame? And, can forgiveness, contrition and the healing passage of time lead to a renewed relationship--one that can succeed this time?

In a third area of interest, the Criminal Conversations story examines how sudden new realities in peoples’ lives can turn their lives in unexpected – and sometimes unwanted – directions that ultimately prove beneficial. At the same time, these changed directions may be limited or misinterpreted or exploited by others outside the new relationship.

Fourth, Criminal Conversations also explores greed and deceit in a divorce setting. It looks at student-faculty relationships in a college or university setting. And it deals with the process of teaching and imparting knowledge.

 As all of this unfolds, the major characters in Criminal Conversations confront matters that include their feelings about life, life after death, faith, courage, and love in the face of death.

I think you’ll be surprised at how it all turns out.

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For more information:

The project's one-sheet is available at: http://bit.ly/9JNu6N.
A recent draft of the script can be read at: http://bit.ly/c4VEAX.
A video about the screenplay can be seen at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4sPZasOf1o.

Donations of any size can be made via PayPal to si@sagecreekproductions.com. Donors will receive on-screen thanks in the movie's ending credits. It is not necessary to have a PayPal account to donate.

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Advice for New Screenwriters

Finished the first draft of a feature screenplay? Congratulations! #Screenplays appear simple on paper but require huge amounts of work just to complete.

Most people who start screenplays never finish them.

Now for the bad news: Your work has just begun.

As a script doctor, I see a lot of first-draft screenplays, and I can say this almost without exception: First drafts are never ready to pitch to producers and never ready for Hollywood "coverage." The professional script readers simply will eat the screenplay alive.

Trust me on this: Before you pitch it to a producer (and he or she farms it out to a reader for "coverage"--a preliminary evaluation to determine whether the producer should waste any time looking at the script), send your script first to a screenplay editor.

The same caution applies when sending new scripts to screenplay contests. Your magnum opus likely will be read by a small panel of contest readers--who often just happen to be professional script readers for producers, as well.

Have it edited, first.

Almost all first-draft screenplays I receive are replete with errors of grammar, spelling and screenplay formatting. You may think Hollywood will be too amazed by your story to notice or even care about these "minor" matters. Trust me on this, too: Many professional script readers will quit reading your story and start counting the mistakes after the first few misspelled words or misplaced commas or random apostrophes. Your screenplay will be a "pass" on page 1.

Writers cannot be their own editors. And family and friends are too busy and too kind to give your first draft the kind of feedback it really needs. They'll just flip through it and say: "It's great, dude! Send it off!"

Don't send it off. Not yet. Not until you've had it reviewed by at least one professional screenplay editor who will tell you what works and what doesn't work and who will show you the errors--both glaring and subtle--in your script.

You may be both chagrined and amazed at the number of blunders you have overlooked. But, once you fix them and maybe do a little rewriting, the second or third draft of your screenplay will be much closer to being ready to submit to producers and screenplay contests.

A little patience and a few revisions can go a long way toward success as a screenwriter.


-- Si Dunn