Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Hawking Books on the Digital Highway - #amwriting

Many of the people I follow on Twitter are writers. And many of them, like me, have new ebooks. So  naturally, we use Twitter to try to help us sell copies of our latest works.

In a typical two minutes now on Twitter, I often see two or three tweets go by that are promoting ebooks. Sometimes, I add one of my own ebook links to the digital hustle and flow.

But the reality is, trying to sell books this way is a bit like trying to sell them while standing in the middle of a freeway, facing onrushing traffic.

It's hard to get anybody to veer off the Digital Highway long enough to click on a link, look at a cover image, read a book summary and reviews (if you're lucky enough to even have any), and then press the "Purchase" button, etc., etc.

There is just too much other information and interesting or outrageous statements continuously flowing by to help us stay self-absorbed. Also, thanks to easy ebooks, there are now more works available than readers willing to part with even 99 cents. Or zero. As in "Read it free!"

Once in a while, some writers get frustrated with their lack of ebook sales, and they try to do the one-person digital equivalent of  Occupy Twitter. They throw themselves into the roadway, kicking and flailing, and hope for some kind of miracle. Or mercy.

They unleash long strings of BUY MY BOOK tweets, offering discounts, freebies, coupons, rewards in heaven, anything they can think of to try to convince someone -- anyone -- to stop, look and click.

By the way, thank you for veering off the Information Superhighway long enough to read this thought-provoking post.

While you've been parked here, I've quietly removed your tires, radiator and distributor cap.

Hey, but I can get you get moving again in mere seconds!

All you have to do is click on this link ... yes, and BUY MY BOOK!

– Si Dunn‘s latest book is a detective novel, Erwin’s Law. His other published works include Jump, a novella, and Anchoring, a book of poetry, plus several short stories, all available on Kindle. He is a freelance book reviewer and a former technical writer and software/hardware QA tester. In an earlier career, he was a photojournalist whose works appeared in numerous regional and national publications.


 


Thursday, April 2, 2009

Social Media Is Dead -- And You Killed It

That's right. Social media (or Social Media, as its practitioners and aficionados so importantly emphasize it) is dead.

You have killed it by overdoing it--day and night, endlessly posting and re-posting. You now stay online so much that you have become antisocial in real life.

Families? Friends? Co-workers? Don't need 'em.

You tweet, therefore you are. You blog, therefore you matter. And if you can just keep it up, hashtagging often enough in one 24-hour span, you can create the illusion that you are living an exciting, important, digirati life.

Those now jumping into social media soon will discover that they have arrived too late. Social media has become oh, so two hours ago.

The New Hot Thing is...Antisocial Media (ASM).

We in ASM tweet just to tweet (and don't you "@" or "DM" or "RT" me, you rat bastard. I'm too busy posting new tweets to read anything or respond). We blog because we can--and we purposely burn up many hours in the process, so the real people around us will get less and less of our time to waste.

Who needs actual social interactions when we can flood the digital universe with ASM?

Don't answer that. And don't attempt to argue with me. Just post your own stuff and don't expect me to read it. The true practitioner of ASM doesn't even read his or her own postings.

My new book, Antisocial Media: Hashtags in Hell (LOL), will be published soon. In the true spirit of ASM, I wrote it without reading it. I let no one edit it. And I will tolerate no reviews or questions about it.

Just click on the Amazon link, charge your credit card and forget about it. Instantly, you will become another expert in Antisocial Media, and you can publish your own book on "how to boost your ASM productivity." (Suggested title: "How I Got 8 Million Anti-Followers on Twitter in Five Seconds Flat.")

I won't read it, of course. I'll be too busy tweeting and blogging about the death of Antisocial Media and the coming of the Next Hot Thing: face-to-face, offline discourse and conversations (FFODAC). (Gasp!)

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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Area Man's Plea: "Help! I'm Being Followed by The Onion!"

Kevin Klyzmymytzky, 78, a retired farmer and resident of this area for nearly 80 years, awoke this morning to the terrifying news that The Onion is following him on Twitter.

"I was just minding my own business, indulging in my old habit of checking soybean futures prices. Then I checked my email and saw an ominous warning that I am being 'followed on Twitter.' Moments later, I saw a blob-shaped shadow move across the shades that I keep drawn in my office. I was completely terrified."

Mr. Klyzmymytzky said that now, each time he steps outside his house, "I feel this hovering presence spying on me. I can't describe it, except that I sometimes see little flashes of white or yellow or purple while something--I never can see exactly what--quickly pulls out of sight around the corner.

"And when I'm driving my pickup truck, I have this eerie feeling that someone with bad onion-breath is breathing right on the back of my neck. But that's plumb silly, because my old truck is just a two-seater. And I don't never keep nothing in the other seat except my shotgun and two cases of beer."

Mr. Klyzmymytzky admits that he recently may have opened a Twitter account accidentally. "There's no other explanation. I thought I was applying for a federal bailout for retired soybean farmers, but I guess I clicked on the wrong link."

The longtime area resident reported that after he read the email warning and saw the shadow, he "called the police right away. But they just said I should buy a couple of pounds of liver and have a nice meal and a nice day.

"I also called Homeland Security. They just suggested that I should try to catch The Onion, then slice it up and invite them over for hamburgers."

Mr. Klyzmymytzky warned that he now carries his shotgun at the ready, even when he is inside his house.

"I tell every shadow I see: 'Go ahead, make my day!' Look, I'm just an old man who lives alone, and there ought to be a law against anything called Twitter that takes advantage of senior citizens. And it ought to be a felony for onions to follow people. None of this would be happening if Franklin Delano Roosevelt was still president, I assure you!"

-- Si Dunn

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"Totally outrageous celebrity news" experiment a complete failure!

I am pleased to report that my blog took a big hit in daily page views after I posted a headline via Twitter, hyping "Totally outrageous news about today's most vapid celebrities."

According to Google Analytics, posting that "celebrities" headline apparently was the digital equivalent of blasting Dateline: Oblivion with a nuclear torpedo. Page views sank sharply, rather than increasing as I had hypothesized.

So the effort to trick new readers into rushing to my blog was an utter failure.

Apparently, many fewer Twitter-ers are enthralled by celebrity news than I had thought and feared. Excellent.

However, I did gain a number of new followers, most of them wanting to sell me something and none of them commenting on anything I have written.

Seems to be a lot of that going on these days. We're all trying to sell something to each other on Twitter: soap, world views, sensibilities, our souls, ourselves.

Thanks to all who participated in this test, and even bigger thanks to all who did not. I'm glad almost nobody really wants to read celebrity "news" from some random blog in Texas. It gives me a bit more hope for the digital world.

May the farce be with you...and also with you.

--Si Dunn


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Friday, February 27, 2009

The Next Great Crisis: Blogger's Bottom

Too many of us now are just sitting around, typing stuff and reading postings such as "OMG! She said what?! OMG! LOL!" and "Bulletin to the world: I'm BORED!"

Blogger's bottom, Twitter tush...if you're reading drivel such as this (and this), it's just further proof that BB and TT have reached out-of-control, epidemic proportions in American society.

Help fight BB and TT today. Get up from your...computer long enough to do something else for a few seconds.

LOL! OMG! ZZZZZ!

--Si Dunn

Am I Twittering Now? Or Am I Just a Twit?

This is a test. This is only a test. This is a test of my first attempt to use the Twitterfeed system.

I am much older than the typical Twitter-er, so perhaps I can be forgiven for resorting to the ancient technique that harkens back to somebody walking onto a stage five minutes before a high school assembly and thumping the microphone, blowing into it and saying: "Test, test, testing, 1-2-3-4..."

Had this been an actual article or rant, it might have contained information (a) worth reading; or (b) not worth reading.

This test is being conducted to verify that I can link my blog, which almost nobody reads, to my Twitter account, which a few people possibly read and likely wonder why they bother.

This concludes this test of the Twitterfeed system.

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