White House Declares: 'If We're Toast, Let's Have Breakfast!'

By Si Dunn

A top NASA scientist has declared “We’re toast…!” if we don’t act quickly and urgently to counter global warming.

According to a source deep within the White House, the Bush Administration has been spurred into high gear by this new NASA warning and is pushing forward its latest environmental action plan: generous tax breaks for all American manufacturers of bread, butter, margarine, jellies, preserves and jams.

“Hey, if we’re toast," the White House source said, "we may as well go out in grand style with a good breakfast. How about a short stack of carbon-credit pancakes and some greenhouse eggs and ham on the side?”

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Mars Rovers: Saved by the Blogosphere?

By Si Dunn

Somebody at NASA must have peered beyond the universe of their corner office today and realized the blogosphere was going berserk over March 24's leaked news that the Mars Rover program and the Mars Odyssey program both faced budget-cut shutdowns in 2008 and 2009.

The Associated Press reported late this morning (March 25) that "NASA says it has absolutely no plan to turn off either of the Mars Rovers because of budget cuts."

However, nothing apparently has been said yet about the fate of the Mars Odyssey orbiter, which has made many significant findings and photographs over the past seven years.

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DON'T Shut Down the Mars Rovers!

By Si Dunn

Space.com has reported that the Spirit and Opportunity rovers on Mars are in danger of being shut down by NASA budget cuts in 2008 and 2009.

The two robot explorers have been driving around on the Red Planet since January, 2004, making surprising scientific discoveries and going and going and going like the Energizer Bunny well past their 90-day life expectancies.

For more than four years, it has been wonderfully easy and educational to follow the rovers' adventures at the Mars Exploration website: http://mars.jpl.nasa.gov/

Now, one or possibly both rovers could be killed by budget cuts that will total a paltry $12 million over two years.

In a nation currently wasting billions to drive manned, armored vehicles around in the sands of Iraq, surely $12 million can be found somewhere to keep Spirit and Opportunity alive and continuing to do peaceful exploration of a neighboring planet.

• In her will, the late Leona Helmsley left a $12 million trust fund for her dog, Trouble, last year.
  
• John McCain's campaign raised $12 million in February, 2008. (McCain, of course, is not known as a great fan of serendipitous scientific research.)
  
• Several wealthy Hillary Clinton supporters offered to pay the $12 million cost of funding a new state primary in Michigan.
  
• The website CafeMom recently raised $12 million from venture capitalists to continue its expansions.

Money is out there. It can be found somewhere, somehow. Contact your U.S. Representative and Senator now and tell them to do something to help save two of America's finest roving ambassadors and national symbols: Spirit and Opportunity.

And while you are at it, don't forget the Mars Odyssey spacecraft. It has been orbiting the Red Planet since 2001, taking thousands of high-quality images and, like the rovers, making many surprising findings. It, too, is facing the NASA budget chopping block in 2008 and 2009.

Space exploration is one of America's crowning achievements and a source of great national pride. Let's not give away some of our most spectacular crown jewels, Spirit, Opportunity and Mars Odyssey, for a few million bucks.

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